Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!