Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.

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(410): Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight. http://tfl.nu/1lc5

Replies (6) Good night (4581) Bad night (751)
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(812): View more from Indiana

she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.

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(812): she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying. http://tfl.nu/q1xu

Replies (5) Good night (765) Bad night (3693)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.

(1-218): View more from Minnesota

i gets down

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(218): out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down. (1-218): i gets down http://tfl.nu/usv6

Replies (14) Good night (3733) Bad night (801)
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(571): View more from Virginia

Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober

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(571): Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober http://tfl.nu/ny6e

Replies (22) Good night (6022) Bad night (1254)
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(804): View more from Virginia

So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...

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(804): So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them... http://tfl.nu/vyz1

Replies (63) Good night (868) Bad night (9554)
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(970): View more from Colorado

Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better

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(970): Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better http://tfl.nu/no2g

Replies (26) Good night (1899) Bad night (4861)
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(410): View more from Maryland

...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...

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(410): ...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear... http://tfl.nu/jb6u

Replies (14) Good night (6164) Bad night (1000)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy

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(973): That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy http://tfl.nu/xazq

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle

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(423): Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle http://tfl.nu/m7ud

Replies (7) Good night (2102) Bad night (808)
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(510): View more from California

God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.

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(510): God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars. http://tfl.nu/alo4

Replies (9) Good night (2986) Bad night (846)
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(330): View more from Ohio

It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?

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(330): It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period? http://tfl.nu/rj9s

Replies (7) Good night (1400) Bad night (722)
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(469): View more from Texas

Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.

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(469): Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked. http://tfl.nu/5hhs

Replies (8) Good night (1455) Bad night (793)
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(309): View more from Illinois

Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.

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(309): Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs. http://tfl.nu/8989

Replies (5) Good night (925) Bad night (677)
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(614): View more from Ohio

This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..

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(614): This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day.. http://tfl.nu/r5zy

Replies (4) Good night (1029) Bad night (316)
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(807): View more from Ontario

We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.

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(807): We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely. http://tfl.nu/t6rq

Replies (2) Good night (370) Bad night (1025)

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