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• (425): View more from Washington

  Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  Girls should come with a carfax report

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• (509): View more from Washington

  Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave

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  17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (210): View more from Texas

  please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.

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  These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students

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• (727): View more from Florida

  I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  She invited us over for cocaine and donuts

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