Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.

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  (617): So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park. http://tfl.nu/bxwf
  Replies (13) Good night (2791) Bad night (738)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records

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  (515): we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records http://tfl.nu/b40n
  Replies (23) Good night (4710) Bad night (620)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?

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  (205): During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker? http://tfl.nu/m2sw
  Replies (37) Good night (837) Bad night (6921)
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  (716): View more from New York

  your facebook page is a work of drunk art.

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  (716): your facebook page is a work of drunk art. http://tfl.nu/2ehc
  Replies (3) Good night (3637) Bad night (803)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you

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  (541): you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you http://tfl.nu/5gma
  Replies (9) Good night (4776) Bad night (850)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.

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  (262): We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool. http://tfl.nu/01zv
  Replies (25) Good night (7383) Bad night (910)
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  (925): View more from California

  Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard

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  (925): Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard http://tfl.nu/2caa
  Replies (14) Good night (3948) Bad night (871)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.

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  (937): as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over. http://tfl.nu/xpv9
  Replies (22) Good night (1571) Bad night (2070)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you

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  (217): You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you http://tfl.nu/uqrj
  Replies (2) Good night (1890) Bad night (509)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.

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  (478): Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night. http://tfl.nu/09o6
  Replies (3) Good night (910) Bad night (348)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any

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  (719): I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any http://tfl.nu/l6nw
  Replies (1) Good night (292) Bad night (599)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.

  (1-204): View more from Manitoba

  Sounds like a good New Years

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  (204): I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this. (1-204): Sounds like a good New Years http://tfl.nu/ss2q
  Replies (4) Good night (1224) Bad night (533)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival

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  (504): Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird (504): Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival http://tfl.nu/ifc7
  Replies (1) Good night (560) Bad night (314)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"

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  (727): She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings" http://tfl.nu/mihx
  Replies (1) Good night (488) Bad night (256)
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  (585): View more from New York

  When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.

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  (585): When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME. http://tfl.nu/uv1z
  Replies (4) Good night (1098) Bad night (222)

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