Texts From Last Night

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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Responsible fail?

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  (907): Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior? (773): Responsible fail? http://tfl.nu/nxhx
  Replies (19) Good night (1458) Bad night (5429)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.

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  (425): I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me. http://tfl.nu/cm8t
  Replies (19) Good night (3761) Bad night (977)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.

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  (404): I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training. http://tfl.nu/j8m4
  Replies (2) Good night (2281) Bad night (782)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.

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  (304): Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life. http://tfl.nu/t3n8
  Replies (21) Good night (6127) Bad night (1621)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?

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  (917): was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him? http://tfl.nu/um4o
  Replies (30) Good night (3146) Bad night (4996)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.

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  (732): That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS. http://tfl.nu/7vfy
  Replies (10) Good night (9702) Bad night (1107)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.

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  (815): If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up. http://tfl.nu/63pe
  Replies (3) Good night (2225) Bad night (834)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question

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  (303): No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question http://tfl.nu/r4al
  Replies (7) Good night (3213) Bad night (990)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"

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  (407): I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist" http://tfl.nu/osi4
  Replies (5) Good night (1917) Bad night (566)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?

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  (214): Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece? http://tfl.nu/qvgx
  Replies (9) Good night (1487) Bad night (892)
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  (925): View more from California

  she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out

  (1-925): View more from California

  this was your mom?

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  (925): she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out (1-925): this was your mom? http://tfl.nu/x3f7
  Replies (4) Good night (1333) Bad night (662)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.

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  (734): the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity. http://tfl.nu/gric
  Replies (5) Good night (1482) Bad night (558)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"

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  (647): Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?" http://tfl.nu/c4jm
  Replies (2) Good night (395) Bad night (916)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.

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  (985): I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on. http://tfl.nu/xcia
  Replies (11) Good night (551) Bad night (1907)
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  (707): View more from California

  I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm

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  (707): I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm http://tfl.nu/rltc
  Replies (3) Good night (654) Bad night (255)

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