I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Randomize
