do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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