Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Just pee around me
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
