Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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