I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
