how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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