I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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