I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
