i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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