plz talk dirty to me
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
