you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
