some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
