Sponge bath it is.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
