The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
