I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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