I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize