That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize