Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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