Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
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You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
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