69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
