Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Duck Duck Cougar?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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