Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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