so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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