There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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