You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize