chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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