Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
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For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize