is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
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Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize