you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
