Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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