Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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