the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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