he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Even my vagina gasped.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
