New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
