I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
