This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
