dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
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still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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