Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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