We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
