how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
