im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
