I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
