i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize