alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
