Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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