At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
