it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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