Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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