Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize