Im at strip club and am horny
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
