4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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