love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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