Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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