just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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