His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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