I molested 6 butterflies tonight
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
