I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
