that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
