I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
