My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
