Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
