She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
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I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
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Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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