I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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