Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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