just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
