Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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