didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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