Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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