try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
